Man Purse Rant
So I work in uptown Charlotte. On any given day coming into work, I've been noticing a disturbing trend. Man Purses. You know what I'm talking about. Those all too metro "guys" with their little sqare bags, only big enough to hold their cover up and metro rule book. They typically carry them strapped diagonally across themselves much in the way you would carry a messenger bag. Look buddy, you're not fooling anyone. You're carrying a purse. Stop trying to kid yourself. You don't look cool. You look like someone very confused. I carry a laptop bag. Why? Because I have a laptop. And it holds my lunch. Very functional. These knuckleheads wiith their little sissy bags, I don't get. One day I'm going to beat one up and steal his bag so I can see what's in it. Here is what I envision I will find:
1. "Man" Makeup
2. The Metro rule book and Metro secret decoder ring
3. Keys to a Jetta (if you read this, sorry Rob)
4. Maroon 5 cd
5. Frequent buyer Starbucks card
And most of these bags are black. What, since its black it makes it ok? Wrong. You probably have a little black dress in the closet too, like every good woman, errr, I mean metro should have. Do girls really like these tendencies? One of my best friends, had such tendencies through high school and college...............then he came out of the closet. I just think there are certain rules guys should have to follow:
1. don't carry a purse
2. don't drive a Jetta (again, sorry Rob)
3. don't wear makeup
4. don't listen to Maroon 5
5. don't double park in a public restroom
6. don't share an umbrella with another man
I could go on forever but you get the idea.
posted by vinnycactus @ 5:49 AM
9 Comments:
Don't forget the tube of lipgloss, oh I mean chapstick, you'll find in the bag.
Girls are lucky - We can get away with doing seemingly masculine things, while guys just can't get away with the opposite.
You also forgot wearing the shiny shirts
But Vin,
You would look so cute with pink lip-gloss.
CB
I like man glitter! Where do you draw the line between messenger bag and metro man purse?
bag has to be able to carry more than your clear nail polish and exfoliating cream, is where i draw the line.
I carry a Pataguchi Half Mass Bag. It carrys my laptop, lunch, riding clothes, towel, deoderant as well as my man glitter. Where does that fall into your equation?
no, that's good. as long as its functional and you can carry manly things that's cool. If you could only fit your man glitter and body spray, then i'd be worried for you.
I agree about the bags. I see them all over the place as well.
Also, it you take Cranberry's advice, make sure that your lip gloss matches your headset.
I've been carrying a backpack or delivery bag most of my life (I'm 33) and I'm surprised that more guys don't. If I couldn't fit a book, notebook, pen, and lunch in it, I wouldn't really see the point though.
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